Fox Allan Jager was born sleeping on Thanksgiving Day in 2021.
At a routine prenatal, Rae’s care provider found no heartbeat. She was induced, met Fox, and said goodbye to her little boy all in one day.
After coming home from the hospital empty-handed, Rae and Ben had only pamphlets as loose guidance for their grief. The Jagers didn’t know how to plan a funeral, find placental/cord research for cause of death, and how to parent while grieving.
After two months of searching, Rae found a community of loss moms, insightful articles, and moving literature that helped comfort. She also found invaluable resources that might’ve saved her baby. This website, with the help of Kate, was born from that labor and love.
Finding a community shouldn’t be hard after a loss. It shouldn’t take searching hashtags and Googling “Stillbirth” (only to find condescending and outdated prevention advice). In honor of Fox, this website curates exactly what stillbirth parents might be looking for in those raw early days and even years later.
Paul Thomas Hilliard died on November 10, 2012 and was born on November 11, 2012.—
Just like that sentence, so many things about him are a paradox. There were no warning signs, no chances to intervene. A few weeks shy of his due date, he arrived at 10:56pm on a Sunday night, 6 pounds, 2 ounces. He was perfect, albeit gone.
Kate & Jimmy fumbled through those early weeks and months. They did their best to parent their toddler daughter as they grappled with intense grief and unanswered questions. Eventually, Kate started writing about Paul and how the loss continues to inform their lives. She hasn't stopped yet and is at work on a book about Paul's life and death.
Kate connected with Rae the same way she's connected with so many other amazing parents over the years: through their lost babies. It can't be overstated how important this kinship and shared experience is in the aftermath of your new life. We're so happy you're here; we're so sad you're here.